Don't Say You Love Me
by snowwy-night-sky
Summary: She's been waiting for him to say those sweet, sweet words to her. But why is it breaking her heart? Based on episode 171


"I love you."

Juvia gasped when she finally, finally, _finally_ heard the words that she has seen waiting, dreaming, wishing, hoping, praying, _fantasizing_ to hear. She can't believe her ears and desperately want to pinch her arm, slap herself in the face or bang her head on a concrete wall, or maybe even on the lamppost where they were both standing under, their faces illuminated by both the moon and the white light from the lamppost, slightly flickering as the moths danced and hit the bulb.

At first, she thought that they were just going to train their Unison Raid for the GMG. She's water, he's ice. In a battle, together, they are invincible. They've been practicing, perfecting their Unison Raid, so it wasn't really a surprise for her when he suddenly told her to meet him, same place, which is under the lamppost, and same time, which is 10 in the evening, when they both are sure that their teammates are sleeping tight and dreaming of rainbows and battles and dragons.

Her fantasizing brain told her that it was so, so, so romantic. It was like they were forbidden lovers, where she is the princess of a country and he is the prince of their enemy country, secretly meeting each other when the king and queen are asleep and the knights are lowering their guards and they both were sneaking out of the palace, hoping that they wouldn't, on their way to their sacred place, where they could whisper their undying love to each other.

Honestly speaking, she thought that once he finally, finally said those sweet, sweet words to her, his cheeks would be dusted by a pinkish hue, looking anywhere but her because he's so, so embarrassed and a little afraid that she might reject him even though it was pretty clear that she has deep feelings for him. She would gasp and her eyes would start to water then she'd jump into his unsuspecting arms but would still catch her, her actions spoken loud and clear than her own voice. And then he'd twirl her around until both of them are dizzy. And then he'd place a tender kiss on her lips and then once again uttering those sweet, sweet words. She thought she'd feel as if she's the happiest girl in the world, her heart beating so fast at a pace she never thought was possible.

But everything wasn't everything she expected or fantasized.

Her vision started to blur and mentally asked herself why her vision was starting to get misty. She swallowed and took a deep breath, holding it in and then releasing it after a few seconds, aware that her beloved is watching her every move, expecting an answer. Her beloved is probably expecting her eyes to form into hearts and hug him tightly, saying his name and gushing about how handsome he is or collapse because she can no longer contain her excitement.

But she didn't.

She never did anything she thought he was expecting.

Instead, she lowered her gaze and placed her left hand on the place where her heart is beating normally. Juvia thought that she could also hear her heart breaking but dismissed it as her imagination. After all, how can you hear your heart breaking? According to what they say, your heart silently breaks, and no one can never, ever hear it. Not even you yourself. But you can feel it.

"No you don't."

She finally said when she was sure that she won't break into tears if she spoke, because how pathetic it will be, to break down pathetically in tears in front of her beloved?

Water once again gathered in her eyes and she once again did the technique she has perfected when she was young, successfully holding back her tears. And this time, _this time_, she was sure, that she can finally say a complete sentence without getting all leaky-eyed.

Her beloved looked surprised. His eyes widened and stuttered a 'what' before regaining his posture, "I do."

A part of her, the childish part of her, wants to stomp her foot on the ground because he is not agreeing with her. But she suppressed it. Her logical mind told her that she can act like a child later, maybe even tomorrow, but not now. Not when they are having an adult discussion.

"No you don't."

"Juvia, I really lo-"

"Please, don't." She cut him off, not wanting to hear the rest of it, "Please. Don't say it. Please don't act like you're being forced to do this."

She covered her eyes with her hands, and said, her voice quivering,

"Please don't break my heart."

Her beloved fell silent. She removed her hands from her eyes and saw that he was looking away from her, just like the image in her fantasies, but his cheeks are not pink and his face clearly says that he wants to be anywhere but here. Here with her. Here, under the lamppost, proclaiming his nonexistent love to her. She thought that he no longer has anything to say because let's all be realistic. There's nothing but 'sorry' is left to say. But he suddenly said, "I like you."

Bitter laugh escaped from her lips. Of course he does. He likes all of his friends. And she's part of his friends, so it's only logical that he likes her.

"That, I can take."

Rain started to fall down the dark, now starless night and it took her a second or ten to realize that it was her own emotion that was causing the sudden change in the weather. It was really ironic and she hates it, but there really is no way for her to stop the rain. But she was quite thankful for the rain that she has always despised since childhood, because she no longer has to hold back her tears. Her own tears. The tears that are pouring down her cheeks from her eyes.

"Maybe someday you'll be able to say those words to me, and mean it with your heart." The sky slowly stopped dropping water and once again revealed the stars and the moon. She pushed her bangs away from her eyes because they were hurting her. She doesn't need to feel any more pain. The pain in her chest is more than enough.

She walked skipped towards her beloved, a silent proclamation that everything will still be the same, with her declaring her love to him with googly, heart-shaped eyes and he'll ignore her, and grabbed his hands out of his pocket and tightened her grip on them and looked up to his eyes, her own flashing with sincere sadness.

"But not now."

* * *

fin.

* * *

**Based on the episode 171 when Erza told Gray to give Juvia a clear-cut response.**

**Whew! I think this is the first time that I wrote a GruVia fic in FT universe. This fic is on Juvia's point of view. Juvia fantasizes about Gray. And yes, we all know she loves him. But I don't want her to accept Gray's "love" just because he felt guilty about rejecting her feelings for him. Juvia is a woman and she deserves better than that. I am going to write a sequel because I really want to give Juvia what she deserves, but not now.**

**Also, I'm really sorry for not updating my fics. My health professor suddenly announced that there was another test on the week when I was supposed to update. But I can't be angry with him. I've fallen in love with him hahahahahaha. Too bad he's married and has twins. Finals are also creeping up on me so I better prepare for it. Another reason why I cannot write or update right now is that grandfather died last Wednesday and the memorial will be held in California on March 9 but we will be driving there on the 6th and the drive back home on the 10th.**

**So I'm really sorry for the wait. But please try to understand. I won't say when I'd be able to update but all I can is say is soon.**

**Oh, has everyone heard that the FT anime will end on March 30? I hope that it's just because the anime is catching up on the manga and they don't want fillers. Because if they won't bring back FT anime, well, there will be dire consequences bwahahahahahaha!**

**Anyways, please leave a review!**


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